30 Secrets Of A Happy Marriage, I Learned In My 30 Years of Marriage

On the day of our marriage/On our 30th anniversary

My husband and I recently celebrated our 30th Anniversary by taking a cruise.  He surprised me on the special occasion with the tickets.  My son, who is a young adult, said, “Cool, we are going on a cruise!”. My husband looked at him, and said nicely, but firmly, ‘No, your mother and I are going on a cruise.’

Later, we all laughed and joked about it. We feel truly fortunate to have a great relationship with all of our children and with each other. As we look back on these 30 years we spent together as a married couple, we realize that this marital journey has given us our good share of learning and growth. Here I reveal 30 of these lessons that may be some of the secrets for a long-lasting and a happy marriage. 🙂

1. Marriage is different from what you imagine it to be.

2. There are times you experience unimaginable joy.

3. And then there are moments you teach each other patience.

4. You learn to give love even when the going gets tough.

5. And you are loved back even at times when you think you do not deserve it.

6. You’re honest to each other about everything.

7. You experience many adventures and misadventures together.

8. You accept your spouse wholeheartedly and you are accepted back for who you are.

9. Your hardest moments as a couple teach you perseverance.

10. You deal with unrealistic expectations together.

11. You are emotionally naked with each other.

12. You are devoted to each other.

13. Sometimes, your faith in each other is tested but love brings it back.

14. You realize how you perceive your partner matters more than how your partner really is.

15. You are mindful of each other’s feelings, thoughts, and needs.

16. There are more than a couple of pleasant surprises.

17. You don’t need to prove yourself right all the time.

18. You can talk to each other about anything under the sun.

19. You learn that making love is not the same as having sex.

20. The more time you spend together, you realize that love can conquer all (and if it cannot, who cares?).

21. You experience romance mixed with reality.

22. You know how to laugh together in the good and the bad times.

23. You help one another.

24. You learn the meaning of giving all of yourself to someone else.

25. You allow yourself to truly receive from another.

26. You learn how to forgive and to accept forgiveness from another.

27. You see your relationship growing continuously.

28. You learn that they are not perfect and that is OK.

29. You experience the best and sometimes the worst moments of your life with your spouse by your side.

30. With time your love evolves and you learn new ways to show love.

After I initially made my list and finished, I realized I had learned so much more than 30 things, because as with most journeys, marriage is a learning experience and it does not stop. Even with 30 years behind us, we still take the time to purposely grow and learn!


We know it is worth it, and that if we truly want the other person to give their all to the relationship, then we know that each person has to continue to learn and develop themselves in order to grow together as a couple.  And believe it or not, we are still discovering things about one another that we did not know. 

The final lesson I do want to share is that Marriage is…

Realizing the perfect moment can be in the middle of chaos, as long as you are right beside each other!

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Tammy lives joyfully with Multiple Sclerosis. She loves the opportunity to try something new and although most would not consider her a risk taker, as a business owner, she finds that she is taking more and more risks in order to stretch herself and her business. She is a Pastor’s Wife, Mother of three grown children, one daughter-in-law and ‘Noni’ to her little granddaughter, Claire. She is also known as President and Founder of Tammy’s Office Solutions, providing excellent virtual services, while empowering disabled professionals to work. She enjoys spending time with family, writing, scrapbooking, teaching & doing spiritual Bible studies.

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